wow that was a close one

Ok, been so busy lately at work that I have not had the time to take on this. I went and weighed Friday the 20th and I lost 5 pounds. Ok, now, I really expected a gain with all the stress I have had this past 4 weeks, but no I lost 5 pounds. I am a little disappointed, but only a little, because like I told husband we have no business being disappointed in the outcome if we did not do the work to make things happen. But I am very relieved because that is 5 pounds less. Greg took off 2 pounds despite all the turmoil. So, everythings is good and next weigh in will be better.

totally lost my mind

Ok everyone, sorry for not blogging for a while. It seems after I was so excited on my birthday and praising God in my heart for helping on my journey and acknowledging to everyone how great life is, it seemed to take a nose dive. Wow, what a rough month. I have had so much stress and turmoil and this has not been a good month for losing weight. I go and weigh on Friday and I am not expecting a whole lot of loss if any. Between, Susie Q leaving us and my mom's health, my church family went through a struggle that just got me all uptight, this cause arguments with hubby, so I felt like my marriage was on the rocks.....just on and on. But you know what, I have to know who is behind it all and not let the enemy win. So, I am kicking it into high gear this week and staying on the path and in overdrive from now on. My goal at this point is to try and get my exercise going, so everyone wish me luck. Love Mel

Happy New Year

Yep, it's the beginning of another year of my life and I am anxious to see where this road is going. Wow, I am so happy to be alive and so happy to be me.

47 tomorrow

Wow, I am going to be 47 years old tomorrow!!!!!! I was sitting and thinking this morning about my life and realized that this time last year, I was so depressed I couldn't even stand to be alive. I was hurting, couldn't breath, was just miserable, I did not even want to get out of bed for my birthday. The gang at work, did my birthday thing and I just really did not get enthused I was wishing that another year had not gone by. But this year is different, I am so excited to be turning 47, I am excited about life and where it will be heading in the future, I feel good, i feel free and most of all I feel loved. I don't mind another year starting, in fact I embrace it and all the years to come. Thank you Heavenly Father for not giving up on me and for not letting me give up on myself, thank you for the people that you surround me with, who care about me and love me. You are truly a Holy and Mighty Father.

Difficult week, still not in control

Well, I have not blogged, due to the fact that it is my goal to keep this site on a positive and upbeat note, but I thought about it over the weekend and I really want it to be a support group a place where we can encourage and lift each other up, because as my last week proved to me, I am still not in control of food when it comes to my emotions. I lost one of my wonderful babies this past week, she had a tumor and it shut her down just all of a sudden, we put her out of her pain on Wednesday. I proceeded to stress eat at that point, I ate 6 corn dogs and half a bag of chips Wednesday night. I then stress ate Thurs, Friday, Sat and Sunday. Yesterday morning I awoke and realized just how bad I felt physically and eating into my old habits will not bring SusieQ back, it will make me fatter and miserable. Many people have said that I had a good reason for screwing up, but in my mind destroying all that I have worked for is not going to help anything. I am coping with the loss and my other babies are helping me do that. I plan to put last weeks eating on my food diary on the website because it is the truth and not the right thing to do. I love SusieQ and always will, but I need to continue to get healthy so that I can take my other babies for a walk and play and enjoy their life.

FEELIN GOOD AND HAPPY FOR MY FRIEND

Well, just a quick update, on mom, she is home and doing well. She had to stay in longer than expected because she gave everyone a scare thurs. but she is better. Now one to feeling good.
It was so great being able to walk the hospital and take care of mom and dad and not even get out of breath. It was exactly what I needed to realize I need to keep going.

I am so happy for Kristi, girl you are awsome and doing great. I wish I had the umph to exercise like you are, I still am not great on that part. Keep it up girl you will have new clothes before you know it.

Energized

Well, I went to weigh in. Another 3.5 pounds, for a total of 10 pounds. I'm so excited. I went to the mall and could walk the whole time! I'm loving this! I can't wait until I'm like Mel and can go get new clothes. I know that plateaus can hit, but I'm prepared and will try hard to not be disappointed. But right now, YEAH!

Yepeeeee!!!!!!!!

Well, visit went well, lost 10 more pounds. Wow, I have now lost 60. I think I will go carry around a 60 bag of something so that I can remember what carrying that feels like and know that I don't want to do it again. 330 looks much better on the scales then 390. Greg, (hubby) has lost 6 more, 18 in all. He really didn't stay on it solid, so I think if he had, he would have done even better, but I am proud of him.

Mom is still in the hospital, she had a rough night, and they are waiting to see if she gets to go home today or if they are keeping her longer. I have not been happy with the way she has been treated at Covanent and I plan to let someone know when it is all said and done.

Have a marvey and blessed day
love mel

Mom and Congrats

Kristi I am so happy for you. I bet you do feel better. Just the change in eating can make a difference. 2 Pounds is great. Doc is going to be so happy. I am on my way to weigh and see her in about 30 minutes. I hate it when the swelling sets in especially right at weigh in. But Congrats girl I am excited for you. Remember Superchick, one more go one more. :)

Anyway, mom is doing fine. They are pretty sure they got all the cancer so that is a relief, she is still in the hospital and we hope she comes home today.

Excited

I went to weigh in today, and I have lost 2 pounds. I'm so excited. I'm feeling so much better. Went for a walk around the playa near my house. I love the energy I'm feeling. I know that my family loves it, too. I was so disappointed on Monday when I had gained 2 pounds. I had gone to my Mom's for the weekend, stuck to the program, but still gained. I even exercised there. But, my legs blew up like the goodyear blimp (s?). Anyway, I'm back on track now. My family is being so supportive. Even my neices are jumping in. They were my cheerleaders during the walks this weekend! Maybe I'll share more of that later. Anywhoo, hope everybody is having a great week. Mel, hope your Mom is doing well. She is in my prayers.

At the Hospital

Well here I am at the hospital waiting for mom to go to surgery. She seems pretty upbeat. I know she has been waiting for this for a while now. Little Brother discovered internet service up here. So, here I am....Wow these computers are slow. Anyway, I thought I would check in and say hey....I will let everyone know whats going on later. See ya.....Have a marvey day love mel

I did it here it is......

I made my bracelet last night. Here is a picture of it. It's a little fuzzy, but I will just have to get a better one later. I will be out of pocket tomorrow for mom's surgery. So, I will let everyone know as soon as I can how things went. Have a wonderful day. Mel

Just testing. I can't wait to be able to blog with you. Kristi

this is a test

Melanie asked me to post on her page to make sure those who've been invited to be authors are able to post blogs. It works! Feel free to post :)

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!.......

It's Friday and I am glad, this week has been crazy and long. I'm not feeling great today, think it's a cold. Have to get over this, because I have to be with my mom for her surgery next Wednesday. I am planning a busy weekend. Hope it works out and I get bunches done. Hope everyone has a healthy and fun weekend. love mel

NOTICES

Well, I am starting to feel like things are more noticeable, and it's happening one thing I didn't really want to happen and that is becoming more conscious of how I look and what matches and if my shoes look ok and oh dear, my makeup......I don't want to be high maintenance. It's so much easier not to worry about it. But it's really kind of fun to be able to worry about it and really care about myself enough to worry about it. Still have not gotten the bracelet made, I have really got to work on my problem of procrastination. Feeling good today though, like I might be wearing someone Else's body. Kind of weird sounding, but it's also weird feeling. I'm going to keep going though. Weighing next Friday has me nervous, always does, don't know why. I lost 2 pounds last month and that really bummed me out. If I don't do much this next weigh in, then I will have to re-evaluate what I am doing and see what that does in month 7. We will see.

busy and enlightening weekend

It was an interesting weekend. I went shopping with my BSD (that's best sis Danni.) just in case all you texters don't know what it means. I got lots of pretty new clothes. Thanks Danni and Clay for the gift. Yes, it was a gift for losing 50 pounds. I was really excited. Except that I am having to get use to wearing something other than stretchy tee shirts. It's really kind of neat wearing something different.

I did realize this weekend that I still have a ways to go and that it's not time to stop yet no matter how good I feel and I also realized how out of shape I am my legs felt like jello after all the running around Saturday, but 6 months ago I would not have been able to even keep up so 50 pounds has made a huge difference. I go weigh in again on the 16th and I will see doc at that time. I am excited to see her, haven't in three months. I'm sure she will want to check my blood pressure and make sure I'm still running good.

Went to my aunt and uncles 50th wedding anniversary reception Saturday also, saw cousins I have not seen in a long while. Realized they are still much prettier than me and I still have a long way to go before I fit in with all the pretty people. Really felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. But, that's one of those things I will just have to deal with inside me. But it was fun seeing everyone.

I plan on making my weight loss bracelet this week. I read about it a long time ago, this lady had a bracelet that she added charms to for so many pounds, then it got to where other people were giving her charms as she loss. I will be putting 2 charms on my bracelet. 25 pounds each. I will take a picture of it and post it when I get it made.

site changes

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have changed this up a bit, one of our support members mentioned that it would be nice if anyone could blog on this sight and not just comment, so I have figured out that I can add authors, so if you would like to be able to blog to this site, just shoot me an e-mail with your e-mail address and I will put you on the author list. Also, I am starting a recipe book on the site, so if you have a recipe just send it in an e-mail and I will post it in the recipe book. If you can include info like calories, servings, points whatever else. Thanks melanie

speaking power

Wow, Gary preached at our church this past Sunday, he is great. But one thing he made me realize, is we are given the power by the Holy Spirit over the things in life that need to be changed. As he spoke, the light bulb in my head came on and I went....Ohhhh!!!!! Speaking over is the same as determination. Yes, I keep bringing up determination. We all have a strength within that when we get sick enough or tired enough or want something bad enough that determination or desire stirrs in us. We put our mind and attitude toward that enabling us to acheive that which we so desire. I desire to live, be happy and healthy, to be able to move and enjoy the things and people in my life and have fun. I desire to be able to go out and enjoy nature. When we feel so bad about ourselves it is so hard to love and help others. Liking ourselves and knowing that we are worth something in life is a major step to loving and caring about others. So, open your mind today and look into your heart and know that you are worth it. Mel

CHECK IT OUT

Wow, the weekend was fast but good, I went to Snyder for my mom's Birthday bash. It's the halfway point to my brother in abilene, so we just all met there to eat. This was the place where a picture of me was taken, that really opened my eyes to just how I looked an how much in denial I was about my weight, so I had hubby take another picture and wow, I have a chin emerging. I don't mean one of the several I mean a real chin. I was so excited. And if I'm not mistaken I believe the cheekbones are starting to come back. Check out the pics. It was terrific.

I also put some of my most motivational pics on here too. So, if anyone is out there, please comment on this blog and share things with me. What motivates you!!!!!????????

NOT THE BEST BUT NOT THE END

Well I weighed this morning, and well I have been spoiled with the bigger numbers. But the one thing that has been bugging me is being two pounds away from being able to report an even weight. you know like 10, 20, 30. Well, I got rid of that pesky two pounds. Yes, I lost two pounds and now I can say I have lost 50 pounds. I did have a rough month and things were getting to me a lot this past month. The only thing I can do is just keep doing it right and fix whatever I did not do right this past month. My body took this last month to catch up and this next month, month 6 will be a good month. It would be a lie if I said the small number did not bother me a little, but my determination and mind set allows me to shake it and move on because for once in my life I am just thankful that I don't have that 2 pounds on me anymore. Have a great day and keep going, never quit. mel

New Season

Wow the new season of biggest loser was great last night. I am anxious to see how these folks do. I really felt for them with that mile they had to run. I still don't think I could do it yet. But the one thing I have to keep in mind is that I don't have the time and trainers that these people have so my weight will not come off in a matter of weeks. And because of loose skin I would prefer it to come off slow enough that maybe some things will pop back into place.

Well I weigh tomorrow will see how things went this past month, I will let you all know how it goes. Please don't hesitate to comment or chit chat on these blogs, I would really like this to be a site where we can read and talk about things and share tricks and helps that will keep us all going. Check back tomorrow for my big news. love ya mel

Thursday Sept. 17, begins month 6

Wow, time does fly, I will be weighing on Thurday. I am a little nervous, because this has been a really rough month stress wise, but we will always have stress so I know I need to learn to deal with it. The weekend was packed full of things that need to be done, but I feel I made some headway on it.

back to it

Well, it was a mighty good weekend, got lots of stuff done. About ready to start redoing and repairing the livingroom. It is so nice to be able to get around without having to sit every 5 or 10 minutes. I even fixed dinner last night standing up, did not sit once. It's amazing what a difference 48 pounds can make. I actually started feeling better after losing 15.

Friday - TGIF

Well, it's Friday, we have a three day weekend. I am happy. This morning I came to work and opened all my icons including my excel which I keep my food diary on. I logged in last nights meal and this morning I treated myself to a sausage egg mcmuffin and iced coffee, from Mickey D's it was a nice change from the oatmeal and cereal all week. I had about 725 calories in that meal, but honestly I like to get the majority of my 1800 calories in the morning because I know at some point during the day I will burn them off. Now, fat content and sodium in this meal is not a great thing. And it is something I do as a treat and not often, I just would rather spend my calories more wisely during the week. For Lunch today, I have a Sara Lee Thin Bun (the greatest things they ever came out with) and some baked chicken, I will spread a little mayo on the bread after toasting it and then I will put the chicken and lettuce on it, about 300 calories and then I will have little baby carrots instead of chips, and to curb my sugar and choc craving for the afternoon, I will eat a 60 cal sugar free pudding. Apples and almonds will be my afternoon snack.

My journey

Well, I have decided to start this support group so that I can share with all of those people who love, care and are curious about my journey. It started April 17, 2009, when I felt really bad, I mean bad, couldn't breath, body was so swollen I couldn't even feel my hands and feet. I am extremely overweight, more than I have ever been. I was tired of it. I went to my doctor for my physical , I was dragging and well feeling at the end of my rope.

I had been doing a lot of soul searching as to why I let myself get so big. It occured to me....I have no children, My husband is in bad shape also, my parents have diabetes and heart disease, my little brother has MS and well I think I am so afraid that everyone will die and leave me here alone, so, I guess I was trying to beat them to the punch. It occurred to me at this time, just how many people in my life would be effected if I was not here. I am not bragging, but just saying that I can not stand the thought of my folks, or my husband having to bury me, my co-workers would not only be stuck with my work, but I hope they would also be devistated that I was not around to drive them nuts.

Last but not least, I realized that I needed to get in shape so that I can take care of those I love.When I got on the scales at the doctors office I was not suprised to see that my short 5'4 body was carrying 390 pounds. Ouch, wow, maybe that's why everything hurts. I spoke with my doctor with tears flowing, telling her of my suicide mission that I was on and that I knew it was now time to get my life back. She also put my suicide mission into prespective by telling me that another scenerio would be that I would not die before everyone else, but that I would get so sick with bad knees, diabetes, heart disease, bad back and no one would be here to take care of me. Hello, never thought of that.

Anyway, she brought up gastric bypass, I told her what I really wanted to do is come see her in 3 months and bring my food journal that I started and if I had not made a significate weight loss, then I wanted to consider the surgery. She put down 25 pounds lost in three months as significate, I'm to go into the clinic and weigh each month until I go and see her, and thus the journey has begun. I have been eating properly since and following my own plan, I was walking around the courthouse everyday until my knee started giving out and then I had to back it off to Monday Weds and Fridays, then I went to the doctor about this and she sent me to the Ortho, he began a five week series of shots in both knees that helped to cushion them. Although they were painful, they were worth it.

But I am feeling better much better and I am excited to see what the future brings as I continue to lose weight. I weight once a month, and keep a daily food diary so that I can keep up with my 1800 calories per day and as of August 17, 2009 I had lost 48 pounds. I have had my struggles, but I have muddled through them with a lot of prayer and self talk. This is going to be a long journey, but I am just going to take it a little at a time. I had 245 pounds to get to where I want to be, but I just focus on a few pounds at a time. I don't set goals like I am going to lose 10 lbs by this date, because I have no control over where my body will take me, so I just do my part and let God and my body do the rest. I have had support and encouragement from many people, some that I had no idea would be there for me and others that I knew would be. Support is a great help and I will share more of my adventures over the last few months and in the months to come.