cheerleaders

Yes, cheerleaders, not the kind in short skirts next to a football or basketball court, but the ones who stand on the sidelines of the road we take on our journey. I use to be the type that didn't want anyone to know that I was losing weight because if I failed or gave up then I would be embarrassed. But you know, the first day I took my first get off my but walk around the courthouse, I came back huffing and puffing to a cheering office. Yes, my peers who, have been worried about me but were too afraid to say so. Since, that day I have come to know who is cheering me on and who is just waiting for me to fall.

Now, my cheerleaders, first I do not count my husband as one, not because I don't love him very much, but because we sabotage each other too often. It's too easy for one of us to use the others weakness to get off track.

I have several cheerleaders, I have the private cheerleaders who set back and wait to see if I need a boost and they do it privately by e-mail, I have my conscience cheerleaders, one that is aggressive with me and one that is soft and reminding, and then there are my spiritual cheerleaders, the ones that keeps me steady and reminds me that God is the one that is going to help me through this journey, I have my, counsel cheerleaders, that's the people that when something is really bugging me, I can go to them and chit chat with them, share my heart and know that they will listen and offer very good advice and encouragement. I have my long distant cheerleaders, the ones who aren't here, but are cheering me on through my blogs and e-mails. And of course I can't forget my medical and physical cheerleaders. All, of my cheerleaders are loving and they get excited with me and pick me up when it didn't go right.

I bring this up, because it is very important to have people around you that can do all these things. You can't get mad, you can't go eat something because someone reminded you what your goal is and if you do what your about to do it will screw up that goal. You have to give each cheerleader and open mind and heart and allow them to help in whatever way they can.

Don't be afraid to seek out your cheerleaders, actually, when you let people know what you are doing, your cheerleaders will label themselves. You can also use the support of this blog, you could find cheerleaders in others that are going through the same thing if you will do all of this then you will not feel totally alone on your journey. Have a beautiful day and keep on going. love Mel

Part two

OK, so have you been hanging long enough. I have no children in my life and my husband doesn't expect to live long and well my parents have health issues and my brother had a health issue, and I began to realize that I was going to one day be all a lone in this world, so I think subconsciously I began to destroy myself, so that maybe I would die before anyone. Guess what, I began to realize that I was not able to take care of my husband, I was not able to take care of my parents, and I was getting to where I could not take care of me. And of course, after talking to my wonderful Dr. May, she pointed out that what would really happen would be that everyone does go before me, I would be sick and an probably in a home with no one to take care of me and that it would probably be better if I get to the point that I can take care of myself. So, the journey began.

Now, someone said not too long ago, they wish I had my will power, but you know it's not will power, it is knowledge, you may think you don't have enough time to research things, but if you want your life back bad enough you will make the time.

I will try to start sharing things in my blogs that you can go to and read and all. But I think the biggest thing was to just cut down on my calories and eat the right ones, and you know I found that I got more food to eat then I did not watching my calories.

If you have gotten started on a plan, hang in there, remember that life is worth it and the more you lose the more you will realize that, if you were on something and got off, don't give up, keep trying one day you will realize how worth it, it is. If you would like to get on a journey and just don't know where to begin, the first thing, get up and get moving. It hurts, but it's worth it, before I started the eating plan, I got up from my computer at work and started walking, it was really hard at first but I began to get stronger.

Then I researched things on CalorieKing.com and set up my food journal which I blogged about a few blogs back. And made it a challenge to stay within the calories I allotted for myself. If I went over I just did better the next day. If you will check out my links and see silverswan web site I have some of my weekly journal pages on there, I chose to weigh once a month, I use to weigh weekly on other plans, but a month makes it more challenging for me.

So, make time for yourself learn the things you need to know. Because you must properly arm yourself to win any battle. Don't deprive yourself, don't starve that just throws everything off, if you want to lose you have to eat, just eat the right food.

If you have questions about anything in these blogs please feel free to e-mail me or blog or comment. I am going to continue to share what I can here and if you have questions it will give me things to blog about. Have a great day and I will blog later love mel

how it all began

I was thinking about it this weekend and I have been just touching on my journey here and there. I've not really shared how it all began. You see I know that many people are on many different plans and I wanted to keep this site where everyone could talk about their plan and how it is working for them. But, you know if you are having trouble figuring out how or where to start my story might help out a little.

A year ago this past Thanksgiving I was having a lot of chest pain and feeling worse than I had ever felt. I could not breath, I could not walk and I could not even function. I was depressed and miserable, I was scared, people at work were fed up with having to run and do things for me because I couldn't walk. I even went as far as putting all my medical info in my desk, let everyone in the office know it was there because I was so afraid that I would have a heart attack, stroke or worse and no one would know what to do with me.

After being in the heart hospital with my mom and realizing that my dad and brother were running circles around me and I couldn't even make it down the hall, I started realizing that something had to change. I thought back on the people that would look at me and say, why are you killing yourself? And after walking the biggest loser and hearing them talk about what is making you the way you are, I sat down and went through about two months of thinking, crying and meditating. And well I realized a lot of things and those things were striking deep into my soul. I don't plan on writing about all this in one blog, I am going to draw it out because it is so long, but tune in tomorrow sometime and I will share my discovery with you.

In the mean time, think about what is tearing you up inside, what is making you turn to food, drugs, booze, or anything else you are addicted to. What hurt is it comforting? Once you figure out at what point you started committing your slow suicide and figure out what changed in your life at the time that you began this distructive action, then you can deal with it and decide if it is truely worth killing yourself over, and who is really going to hurt or benefit from your distruction. I think you would be really suprised at what surfaces.