Went to the doctor today, Yeah, it was only 3 pounds, but guess what that means the plateau is gone. Yes!!!!!! So, now we are headed toward that three hundred and then below it. Maybe the bowflex worked. :) I know my muscles feel it.

After talking to Dr. May, she says she has had many people come in saying they have been working out like crazy and watching what they eat and they just can't seem to lose weight. So, what I have to say about this is. Go one whole normal day, with a little notebook in your pocket, take time to write down everything that you eat that day, I mean everything, even if you think it is too small to count put it on your list. one day, that's all, just one normal day, write down what you do activity wise also. Then at the end of the day take the time to go to CalorieKing.com and find the calories for each thing and then add them up.

Are you getting more calories than you know? Are you not getting enough? What kind of calories?

You need protein to maintain muscle mass and to keep from feeling hungry, you need fiber to keep the body funtioning and everything moving through and to help curb your hunger. If you eat to much sugar, it goes straight to fat, if you are not getting enough calories your body goes into starvation mode and starts storing fat for later use. (this is it's survival instink that God gave it) Same with water, if you starve your body of water, it will retaliate by retaining fluid. You have to drink plenty of water to keep dehydrated so the body will flush the excess along with all the bad stuff it doesn't need to function. (ie: fat....)

I will start putting good articles I have found on this blog about all this. Anyway, if you are really busy and need help finding the calories for your one day food journal, send it to me via e-mail and I will look it up for you. Just don't give up, keep working at it and you will find the right balance. :) love Mel

another eye opener

Well, last night was an eye opener for me. I watched the biggest loser and they visited a school where a big girl stood up in front of everyone and spilled her heart. There were kids in the group that cried with her, but you could tell the ones that were the "in crowd". They were snickering and well just had looks on their faces that I could have slapped off.

You see I was that girl. I went to a small school and was overweight the majority of my school years, my school mates teased me and made fun of me. It was a real miserable existence. If I had not had God and wonderful supportive parents I might not be here today. I did manage to get off a lot of weight the summer of my sophomore year, but it was not for me, it was to try and stop the pain. Then all of a sudden I had a lot of friends, this in itself made me sick and hurt, because I was the same person just a better body style.

The teen years are extremely impressionable years and they are years that mold us for life. It’s funny, all those people that made me feel so horrible all those years ago are friends on facebook.

Even though as an adult, I love them and really care about all of them, I don’t think they will ever understand just what negative mental impact they put me in back then. Some of the guys would say you are fun to make fun of because you laugh with us, but what they did not realize is that when I got home at night I would cry myself to sleep. Looking back, it’s a wonder if maybe they did what they did because they felt inferior in their own lives, families and bodies and that maybe that was their way of making themselves feel better. All I know is this is another issue that is still haunting me and one that I must deal with and put behind me.

My face book status yesterday came from a flood of feelings, but it is a true one and one that we need to keep in mind and practice:

"So much going on around, some we have control of some things we don't, grasp the things you can change and change them, don't fret over the things you can't change, forgive those you haven't forgiven and love everyone with all your might because you don't know when that chance will end."

I weigh in tomorrow, we will see if my changing things up a bit helped me get over my 4 month plateau. If it did, I will share. love mel

wow, it's been a while

Wow, I can't believe that its been that long since I have blogged, sorry about that. I've had so much energy and been going 90 to nothing and well, just really have not made the time to get on. Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well, and if you have any successes to share I would love for you to blog or comment on them. That would be great. I am still stuck, but I am about to switch things up a bit as per a friends suggestion and see if I can't upset my body again, confuse it and force it to start losing again. I have started working out more. Anyway, it's my understanding from watching The Biggest Loser this past week, Bob says you should eat a lot of your calories early in the day and decrease the later it gets. So, it's summer and salads are great this time of year. And it seems easier to eat more in early day. Let me hear from ya. Mel

congrats and year two begins

I want to start this blog by congratulating Michelle one of our group. She has lost 25 pounds and still going. Way to go girl you keep it up.

My 2nd year begins April 17, 2010. Yes, i am still stuck at a 70 pound weight loss, so my next doctor appointment is April 29, so today, I start my 2nd year and will aim toward the next 70 pound loss. If I do more great, if less than ok, just as long as I do. The year has really gone by fast. I feel better about the slow loss because I feel it will stay off easier and longer. We shall see. :) Keep up the good work shell and let us know how you do.

goals

I am not good at goals, I have tried many times to set goals only not to reach that goal and then I just get discouraged. I use to say to myself, "I am going to loose 20 pounds by ........" and then the time would come and either my body had not cooperated or my mind, heart and stomach were not on the same page and I would have never even tried.

This time I made up my mind that I would not set a time goal, just a weight goal. Having to loose 245 pounds, I chose to take it 50 pounds at a time and just do whatever I had to do and let my body do what it was going to do. I am not saying I haven't set some goals, just none with a time frame.

I am in front of my computer everyday all day long, so I have put some of my goals and motivations on my computer to look at everyday. Time goals are ok for some people but personally they discourage me in the end.

It will come off, with work and patience and if I did not do that well before I weigh in then I will recognize that and know that I have no right to be disappointed if I did not put my full effort into it. I've attached a picture of my computer.

Re: Picture

I am a member of a medieval group so I have two dresses I would love to wear, I have my senior picture when I weighed 125 pounds, I plan to go to Disney World, I am aiming for 145 pounds and the little rock on sticker was given to me by a friend when I first started.

cheerleaders

Yes, cheerleaders, not the kind in short skirts next to a football or basketball court, but the ones who stand on the sidelines of the road we take on our journey. I use to be the type that didn't want anyone to know that I was losing weight because if I failed or gave up then I would be embarrassed. But you know, the first day I took my first get off my but walk around the courthouse, I came back huffing and puffing to a cheering office. Yes, my peers who, have been worried about me but were too afraid to say so. Since, that day I have come to know who is cheering me on and who is just waiting for me to fall.

Now, my cheerleaders, first I do not count my husband as one, not because I don't love him very much, but because we sabotage each other too often. It's too easy for one of us to use the others weakness to get off track.

I have several cheerleaders, I have the private cheerleaders who set back and wait to see if I need a boost and they do it privately by e-mail, I have my conscience cheerleaders, one that is aggressive with me and one that is soft and reminding, and then there are my spiritual cheerleaders, the ones that keeps me steady and reminds me that God is the one that is going to help me through this journey, I have my, counsel cheerleaders, that's the people that when something is really bugging me, I can go to them and chit chat with them, share my heart and know that they will listen and offer very good advice and encouragement. I have my long distant cheerleaders, the ones who aren't here, but are cheering me on through my blogs and e-mails. And of course I can't forget my medical and physical cheerleaders. All, of my cheerleaders are loving and they get excited with me and pick me up when it didn't go right.

I bring this up, because it is very important to have people around you that can do all these things. You can't get mad, you can't go eat something because someone reminded you what your goal is and if you do what your about to do it will screw up that goal. You have to give each cheerleader and open mind and heart and allow them to help in whatever way they can.

Don't be afraid to seek out your cheerleaders, actually, when you let people know what you are doing, your cheerleaders will label themselves. You can also use the support of this blog, you could find cheerleaders in others that are going through the same thing if you will do all of this then you will not feel totally alone on your journey. Have a beautiful day and keep on going. love Mel

Part two

OK, so have you been hanging long enough. I have no children in my life and my husband doesn't expect to live long and well my parents have health issues and my brother had a health issue, and I began to realize that I was going to one day be all a lone in this world, so I think subconsciously I began to destroy myself, so that maybe I would die before anyone. Guess what, I began to realize that I was not able to take care of my husband, I was not able to take care of my parents, and I was getting to where I could not take care of me. And of course, after talking to my wonderful Dr. May, she pointed out that what would really happen would be that everyone does go before me, I would be sick and an probably in a home with no one to take care of me and that it would probably be better if I get to the point that I can take care of myself. So, the journey began.

Now, someone said not too long ago, they wish I had my will power, but you know it's not will power, it is knowledge, you may think you don't have enough time to research things, but if you want your life back bad enough you will make the time.

I will try to start sharing things in my blogs that you can go to and read and all. But I think the biggest thing was to just cut down on my calories and eat the right ones, and you know I found that I got more food to eat then I did not watching my calories.

If you have gotten started on a plan, hang in there, remember that life is worth it and the more you lose the more you will realize that, if you were on something and got off, don't give up, keep trying one day you will realize how worth it, it is. If you would like to get on a journey and just don't know where to begin, the first thing, get up and get moving. It hurts, but it's worth it, before I started the eating plan, I got up from my computer at work and started walking, it was really hard at first but I began to get stronger.

Then I researched things on CalorieKing.com and set up my food journal which I blogged about a few blogs back. And made it a challenge to stay within the calories I allotted for myself. If I went over I just did better the next day. If you will check out my links and see silverswan web site I have some of my weekly journal pages on there, I chose to weigh once a month, I use to weigh weekly on other plans, but a month makes it more challenging for me.

So, make time for yourself learn the things you need to know. Because you must properly arm yourself to win any battle. Don't deprive yourself, don't starve that just throws everything off, if you want to lose you have to eat, just eat the right food.

If you have questions about anything in these blogs please feel free to e-mail me or blog or comment. I am going to continue to share what I can here and if you have questions it will give me things to blog about. Have a great day and I will blog later love mel

how it all began

I was thinking about it this weekend and I have been just touching on my journey here and there. I've not really shared how it all began. You see I know that many people are on many different plans and I wanted to keep this site where everyone could talk about their plan and how it is working for them. But, you know if you are having trouble figuring out how or where to start my story might help out a little.

A year ago this past Thanksgiving I was having a lot of chest pain and feeling worse than I had ever felt. I could not breath, I could not walk and I could not even function. I was depressed and miserable, I was scared, people at work were fed up with having to run and do things for me because I couldn't walk. I even went as far as putting all my medical info in my desk, let everyone in the office know it was there because I was so afraid that I would have a heart attack, stroke or worse and no one would know what to do with me.

After being in the heart hospital with my mom and realizing that my dad and brother were running circles around me and I couldn't even make it down the hall, I started realizing that something had to change. I thought back on the people that would look at me and say, why are you killing yourself? And after walking the biggest loser and hearing them talk about what is making you the way you are, I sat down and went through about two months of thinking, crying and meditating. And well I realized a lot of things and those things were striking deep into my soul. I don't plan on writing about all this in one blog, I am going to draw it out because it is so long, but tune in tomorrow sometime and I will share my discovery with you.

In the mean time, think about what is tearing you up inside, what is making you turn to food, drugs, booze, or anything else you are addicted to. What hurt is it comforting? Once you figure out at what point you started committing your slow suicide and figure out what changed in your life at the time that you began this distructive action, then you can deal with it and decide if it is truely worth killing yourself over, and who is really going to hurt or benefit from your distruction. I think you would be really suprised at what surfaces.

getting through and empty calories

Well, i weighed yesterday, i was feeling really good and feeling as though I had done a lot, however; the scales had a different story. I did nothing, not a thing, no gain, no loss. I am thankful there was no gain, but it does get me a little down. But when I think back on this past month I realized, I had a bunch of empty calories. It's not just counting calories, but its the kind of calories. I have a big weakness for kettle chips 18 for 150 calories. But if this is something you eat a lot of it's just empty calories. I have in the past tried to find things that had few calories but I get a lot of it. I failed on this this past month, therefore I was hungry a lot and also ate calories that really did me no good. So, keep and eye out for that. I did get a little down, but I have no choice but to continue, because the alternative is going back to the way I was and that is not an option. I never want to feel that way again.

neat site with neat recipes

Well, I have been running around crazy, but I have kept to it. I am feeling pretty good about weighing next week, can't wait to let everyone know how I did. I took a couple of rough months off, but I didn't gain back much so it was easy to get going again. Anyway, a friend of mine sent me to a really cool site with some cool recipes on it, you might already know about it, but if not here it is: www.hungrygirl.com I found some really good looking stuff on it and I think I might give them a try to liven things up a bit.

almonds, almonds, almonds

Ok, for all of you who can eat almonds, which I know some are allergic to them, I will tell you that it is probably a great thing to have while you are trying to loose weight. I have been eating almonds since I started my journey, I put them in my oatmeal, my cereal I eat a handful at break. Of course I do count them out and I count the calories. They can be expensive, but I get mine at Walgreens because I can get two big cans for $7.00 and when they are on sale they are two for $5. I usually get the honey roasted. They aren't as good as some of the brand names, but you get more for the money. The following is a great article on almonds, enjoy it. :)

INFORMATION FROM WEBMD Almonds May Help in Weight Loss http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20031107/almonds-may-help-in-weight-loss

food journals are great

Well, so far today has gone well, my calories are staying within limits. I am back to keeping my food diary and I will be posting it on my site later this week. That is one thing in past times, people I know would encourage me to keep a food diary, however; I was lazy and felt it was a waste of time. But, I have done it almost everyday since I started my journey 9 months ago and it is the best thing I have ever done. It not only helps me to keep track of what I am eating and what I can do at night, but it also makes it more challenging. And I like a good challenge. If you think that work is in the way of you keeping your diary, then if you have access to Excel, that is the best thing to use. I started mine on a piece of paper, that was time consuming and hard to keep up with and then I decided that I am in front of my computer everyday why not set it up on the computer, so I did I set it up in Excel. At first, it felt like it took a lot of time, but once I got the practice down and got to know my calories a bit, now it is a breeze and it adds the stuff up for me. And it also helps me in my grocery buying, because I just go by my journal and know what I need to get at the store the next time. Anyway, that is one of the first things I open when I get to work. Just a suggestion from the minds of the weird. :)

time for more changes

I've been pretty lax in a lot of things in my life lately, I did really well last week getting my eating back on track. I had gotten back up to 332 from 325. Mostly because I lost that 7 pounds incorrectly. I've been depressed and stressed out about a lot of things going on in my life and about things I wish would go on. I sat down a couple of weeks ago and thought about what I've been doing and realized that gaining my weight back instead of losing the rest of it is going to only make life more difficult for me and others in many ways, so the best thing to do is put on my big girl panty, suck up all that is going on and just keep fighting for what I want in life and that is to feel good and live. I will be weighing on Feb 18 and will be going in to see my favorite doctor in the whole world and see what she has going. I look forward to sharing with all of you how that appointment goes.

sorry I've been away

Well, I know it's been a while. I was hoping to get internet at home and then it would be easier to keep up with the blog; however, they still can't get a signal, so I will just have to work on this at my lunch time until we can receive it. I will let everyone know that over the holidays I gained 5 pounds. Dr. May, told me to expect to gain, she seemed pleased it was only 5 pounds. I am not upset about the weight gain, because like I told my husband, if I had been on it and worked hard at it, and gained I would have a right to be upset. But I didn't so I really don't have that right. The new year has begun and there are a lot of people making new years rosolutions, me personally, i quit doing that a long time ago. I never stuck with it and it made me feel horrible about myself. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great new year and I look forward to blogging with all of you. Hang in there, be happy, be strong and love yourself, because you are worth it. Melanie