Happy New Year

Yep, it's the beginning of another year of my life and I am anxious to see where this road is going. Wow, I am so happy to be alive and so happy to be me.

47 tomorrow

Wow, I am going to be 47 years old tomorrow!!!!!! I was sitting and thinking this morning about my life and realized that this time last year, I was so depressed I couldn't even stand to be alive. I was hurting, couldn't breath, was just miserable, I did not even want to get out of bed for my birthday. The gang at work, did my birthday thing and I just really did not get enthused I was wishing that another year had not gone by. But this year is different, I am so excited to be turning 47, I am excited about life and where it will be heading in the future, I feel good, i feel free and most of all I feel loved. I don't mind another year starting, in fact I embrace it and all the years to come. Thank you Heavenly Father for not giving up on me and for not letting me give up on myself, thank you for the people that you surround me with, who care about me and love me. You are truly a Holy and Mighty Father.

Difficult week, still not in control

Well, I have not blogged, due to the fact that it is my goal to keep this site on a positive and upbeat note, but I thought about it over the weekend and I really want it to be a support group a place where we can encourage and lift each other up, because as my last week proved to me, I am still not in control of food when it comes to my emotions. I lost one of my wonderful babies this past week, she had a tumor and it shut her down just all of a sudden, we put her out of her pain on Wednesday. I proceeded to stress eat at that point, I ate 6 corn dogs and half a bag of chips Wednesday night. I then stress ate Thurs, Friday, Sat and Sunday. Yesterday morning I awoke and realized just how bad I felt physically and eating into my old habits will not bring SusieQ back, it will make me fatter and miserable. Many people have said that I had a good reason for screwing up, but in my mind destroying all that I have worked for is not going to help anything. I am coping with the loss and my other babies are helping me do that. I plan to put last weeks eating on my food diary on the website because it is the truth and not the right thing to do. I love SusieQ and always will, but I need to continue to get healthy so that I can take my other babies for a walk and play and enjoy their life.