another eye opener

Well, last night was an eye opener for me. I watched the biggest loser and they visited a school where a big girl stood up in front of everyone and spilled her heart. There were kids in the group that cried with her, but you could tell the ones that were the "in crowd". They were snickering and well just had looks on their faces that I could have slapped off.

You see I was that girl. I went to a small school and was overweight the majority of my school years, my school mates teased me and made fun of me. It was a real miserable existence. If I had not had God and wonderful supportive parents I might not be here today. I did manage to get off a lot of weight the summer of my sophomore year, but it was not for me, it was to try and stop the pain. Then all of a sudden I had a lot of friends, this in itself made me sick and hurt, because I was the same person just a better body style.

The teen years are extremely impressionable years and they are years that mold us for life. It’s funny, all those people that made me feel so horrible all those years ago are friends on facebook.

Even though as an adult, I love them and really care about all of them, I don’t think they will ever understand just what negative mental impact they put me in back then. Some of the guys would say you are fun to make fun of because you laugh with us, but what they did not realize is that when I got home at night I would cry myself to sleep. Looking back, it’s a wonder if maybe they did what they did because they felt inferior in their own lives, families and bodies and that maybe that was their way of making themselves feel better. All I know is this is another issue that is still haunting me and one that I must deal with and put behind me.

My face book status yesterday came from a flood of feelings, but it is a true one and one that we need to keep in mind and practice:

"So much going on around, some we have control of some things we don't, grasp the things you can change and change them, don't fret over the things you can't change, forgive those you haven't forgiven and love everyone with all your might because you don't know when that chance will end."

I weigh in tomorrow, we will see if my changing things up a bit helped me get over my 4 month plateau. If it did, I will share. love mel